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Heal What Hurt You

6/19/2024

Good morning, my friends. It has been too long since I have been blogging and living my own life. I allowed someone to take me away from a life that I worked so hard for, and that fulfilled me.

It was 2 1/2 years ago that I met someone who would be very significant in my life. I thought I would be happy and live the life I had always dreamed of. Finally, I was going to get the one thing I longed for a happy, loving, and exciting relationship. My dreams were finally coming true.

No, that is not what happened. I ended up meeting someone who lied to me from the very beginning. He groomed me almost immediately in the relationship. I became trauma-bonded to him, then addicted to him. I tried getting out of this relationship many times, but I kept falling for his lies and feeling sorry for him.

I never knew how much someone could have a hold over you until I met this person. He is older, I thought wiser, had his troubles, but who didn't? I had so much compassion and empathy for him and what he was going through. As time moved on, he kept dropping these bombs on me of his life. I couldn't understand how one person could go through so much turmoil. Especially when all I saw was this warm, wonderful, hardworking man. He always said to me, most women would have left; you are so amazing. I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

When he felt I was bonded to him, he started showing me his temper. I dismissed it at the beginning because I knew how much he had on his plate. His stress was never-ending. So, I empathized and felt sorry for him. I accepted his apologies and continued supporting him while he went through his troubles. But, as time went on, it got worse and worse. We would have good days, great days, then boom; here came the bad days. Then, it was primarily bad days and not anymore good days. I would always believe what he told me. He always portrayed himself as sincere; he knew exactly how to push my empathetic buttons.

He would share with me how much he loved me and how we would live our lives together. We would be each other's partners for life. He would talk about where we would live, where we would go, and what we would do. I started to fall in love with the idea of spending my life with someone who was as excited about living life as I was. That is how I got completely hooked on him.

I knew I did not like the man who was actually in front of me, but I did love the man at the beginning of my relationship. He would be that guy if only his plate would fall into place. If people left him alone, he would be that guy. If life would just be fair, then he would be that guy. He would always tell me if I did this, and if this happens, I would be secure, and we could be happy. But he did what he needed, and it always got worse. I realized there would not be any happy ending for me, it would always be misery.

I will share my trials and tribulations regarding this relationship with all of you. The relationship had so many red flags, and I looked the other way on all of them. I am just as much to blame as he is, other than I was always good to him, and he was not to me.

Life has been rough, but now I am back in the driver's seat, free from all his abuse. It's hard not to contact him or try to figure out why, but from now on, I will be strong and heal from what I went through so I do not bleed on someone else.

Tune in next time, and we will dive deeper. Have an amazing day!

Love,

Just Rita Real Talk

6 Comments

Starting A New...

1/9/2024

6 Comments

Good morning, my beautiful souls. I hope you are all finding yourselves well and happy.

It's been a long time since I blogged, and it's time to get back to it. I noticed that when I am not blogging or writing, I am losing myself. I fall back into old patterns I no longer want to see in myself. What I have been working so hard for is slipping through my fingers.

You might be asking yourself, "Then why did you stop?" Great question; I got busy with another life. This happens to most of us, all of us, if we are truly honest with ourselves.

I found someone special and put my whole self into their life, not even allowing me to continue my life. Ten months later, I am angry and disappointed that I fell back into old patterns. It's easy to do when you are a people pleaser, and you will do anything for the ones you love. But when it came down to it, I needed more love for myself. We usually don't think about having more love for ourselves because that would be selfish. That's what people or our loved ones would say. So we do whatever it takes to please them and be there for their every need; then, gradually, you start to disappear and stop giving yourself the love you need.

It's funny; you have to really love yourself to receive the love you deserve, yet society tells us differently, or we are selfish. Self-development tells us to love ourselves more to receive love, but then our loved ones tell us that's selfish. We get trapped in the wheel of pleasing others when we don't realize that if we love ourselves more, our loved ones have to start doing the same thing. That's why we are called selfish, we are no longer just giving to them, and they will have to do for themselves; that's what pisses them off. We are not selfish; we no longer allow ourselves to become depleted from what we truly need. What we truly need is the love to us, from us.

Crazy thought, isn't it? Think about it for a minute. What have you stopped doing for yourself to please someone else? I stopped working on my own business, stopped writing, stopped doing self-development, and stopped my radio show; these are just a few things. I have been so angry at myself that I would direct the anger outward when, in fact, I should have been brave enough to say NO.

This past Sunday, I said No More. I walked off a job, I was numb, I had no emotion, I had nothing left to give. I had no kind of feeling inside me for at least two days. To know me is to know I lost my shit. The last straw broke my back. Now, I have had some time to myself, and I am figuring out what Rita wants and what Rita is going to do. I will start standing up for myself positively and not let anyone tell me differently. I will still be me, but I will love myself so much that I will do what it takes to keep my dreams alive as everyone else in my life has been keeping their dreams alive. I realized I sacrificed myself for the love and acceptance of others; that is my responsibility to take on and correct. I have been out of integrity with myself way too long, and it is time to get back in check.

It's okay to do for others as long as you are not losing yourself. It's okay to say no when you are not doing what you must do for yourself. It's okay to start fresh anytime you need to do so.

Today, I am starting fresh. Today, I will love myself more than I love another. Today, I will live my dreams while I still help others to live theirs. Today, I will be happy with my decisions and not care what people think of me. Today, I will practice what I said I would do. Today, I will be patient and continue to love myself when I slip into old patterns.

I pray this blog helps someone say yes to love for themselves. Have a fantastic day, my beautiful souls. I love you and will see you soon.

Just Rita

6 Comments

Don't wait to be happy...

1/25/2023

5 Comments

Good morning my friends; I hope you are having a fantastic Wednesday morning. The sun is shining, the snow is falling, the chill is in the air, the roads are wet, and yet it is a beautiful day.

However, you perceive your day, make it a wonderful day no matter what. It's time to start enjoying your life and who you are, no matter what is surrounding you. If you see the beauty in what is happening around you, you are starting to enjoy your life. It does not matter whether or not everything is going perfectly in your life because you know it is all falling into place for your highest good. But, on the other hand, when you constantly sweat the small stuff, you are making your life miserable. You are seeing that nothing is ever turning out in your life.

If you wait for everything to fall into place in your life so you can be happy, you will never be satisfied. As your life falls into place, you will have twists and turns that will take you in different directions so you can gain knowledge. You will have opportunities to focus, reinvent, restructure, or even go in another direction. That is the beauty about falling into place; you don't know where those pieces will land. If you dread everything before it lands or judges the progress, you will never be happy when everything falls into place.

Just some food for thought. Ask yourself, "How is your day going"? Your answer to yourself dictates how you see your life.

Have a fantastic day!!!

Love, Rita

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Don't sweat it; keep breathing and moving forward.

1/23/2023

1 Comment

Good afternoon my friends...Here we are on January 23, 2023!!! It has been a long time since I have written, and it's time to get back on track.

I have missed sharing my perspective and inspiration. Life, in general, has been so busy and full of changes it has been hard to keep up. I let many things fall to the wayside, and it's time to pick them back up. I have found I am at my happiest when I am helping people see something great for themselves, no matter what is happening in their lives. When I help people, I am also helping myself move forward.

We look at our lives as if there is not enough time to do what we want. I, too, have had that same problem. I realize my age and feel I should be somewhere else. When changes happen, I pull myself further from where I want to be. Then I start to feel like I am failing in one way or another. Especially when we share our goals with people around us, and those we have confided in seem to keep track of our progress. We start to let our ego take over and make ourselves wrong for the lack of or the changes in our life.

Even now, as I am sitting here writing, making myself wrong for waiting so long to pick this blog back up. I love writing and sharing my perspective with others, but then I start to get in my head about the responsibility of keeping it going. Who's going to listen to me? Do I have something worth saying? Can I help people? All those things that run through our minds. It's crazy. Why are we programmed this way?

I do know; is that we are here to learn and grow and become the best versions of ourselves daily. We are here to stretch our souls by going through trials and tribulations so we can understand that everything always works out for our highest good. We never realize it in the middle of our chaos, but it always works out. We gain much knowledge to pass along to others so their situations become less daunting.

Take your life one moment at a time, stay present, and keep yourself breathing. Everything miraculously falls into place. You are right where you need to be right now, don't sweat it. You will get where you need to be in time. Enjoy the ride.

I love you...Rita

1 Comment

Wipe Your Face...

5/19/2022

2 Comments

Good afternoon, my sweet souls; it has been so long since my last blog. I can't believe how much I have missed doing this blog. Even when I feel like what is the point of keeping it going...I still feel that burning desire deep down inside to write.

Today's quote is perfect for what many people are going through in their lives. So many of us are going through difficult struggles that we would not wish on anyone, yet here we are, ready to throw in the towel. So this quote came to me at a very perfect time.

The last couple of years have hit us all hard as a collective...no country has not been scathed through this whole pandemic, and now there is war. We have been dragged through the trenches, and most of us can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. So instead, we find ourselves clawing our way out of the holes we are in. We feel alone, no one cares, and feel like we are being abandoned in life. So many deaths, so many changes, so many demands; we can't imagine how we will make it through our lives.

This is what I have been hearing from my clients, and I have had to deal with my own self in life. But what is impressive in all of this...this is actually all temporary. We are being stretched and pulled to get back to basics, get back together with family and loved ones, and get back to living a simpler life than what we have been living. All we have to do is look around us and realize where we are and who is around us. Yes, some definitely have it worse than others, but what is comforting is that we are not alone in it. We are actually all in it together if we can just get a little perspective.

As we start to give up and throw in the towel, God and our Angels are our cheerleaders to keep moving forward. Sometimes, we need a little perspective to get us over the hump to keep going. It does not matter how long it takes to get to our destination, as long as we don't quit. But, if we do, it's another way to beat ourselves up and keep us held back.

No matter what is going on in your life, there is always a solution. It takes perspective, looking at things from a different point of view, and knowing you are the right person to solve any situation you are in.

I love you all. I hope you have a fantastic day!!!

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Our biggest thing to master is Patience and Letting Go...

3/29/2021

1 Comment

Good morning my beautiful friends; I hope you are finding yourselves happy, healthy, and safe.

2020 was rough for many people, and it has spilled into 2021. Many are finding themselves at a loss and wondering what life has in store for them. I wonder the same things for myself. I wonder what we needed to learn and let go of to keep moving forward in our lives.

Last year was a challenging year for most; some lost family, friends, their livelihood as they knew it. Some created a whole new life for themselves with the obstacles put in front of them. It's amazing how life happens, and we see how the human race responds.

I look back at where I was last year, and I, too, went through a lot of growth. I had to let go of people I loved. I had to learn how to adapt to what is new and stay connected without being in someone's personal space. I had to adjust to who I truly am and start to love and accept myself no matter what.

When we go through a loss of any kind, we get taken back a bit to reevaluate our lives. We wonder why things have happened in our lives and why things continue to happen. We sometimes become victims to the circumstances around us, not realizing that sometimes things are happening to us for our good.

Answered Prayers; we think that when our prayers are answered, they should be beautiful and magical. Most times, when our prayers are answered, they come in the most undesirable packages. Answered prayers may come as a break-up, lost job, dispute of some kind, loss of possessions for even money. We only see what is right in front of us, so we see things happening to us instead of for us. We are not looking at the bigger picture, only what is in front of us; when we see this way, we miss a lot of what is happening for us.
We need to learn how to develop the skill of looking at things from a bird's eye view perspective and not react to what is happening but responding instead.

It's patience that we need to develop; we are taught so many different ways to learn patience. As we get further into the world of technology, we have lost the art of patience and want everything instantly. We get tired of waiting for what we want, but if we learn patience, maybe what we want is not what we need. If we got everything instantly, we would be receiving a lot of what we don't want. We would be getting what we are reacting to instead of responding.

That is something to ponder, responding to what we want instead of reacting to what we think we want. Think about it, what if you had a relationship with every person you thought you wanted? You would be more F-Upped than you already are. LOL...instead, when we have patience, we realize that we have dodged some bullets. When we have patience and let go of the expectations, what comes to us is what we need.

Today my friends, look at your life. Where have you been and where are you going. What are you reacting to compared to what are you responding to? Give yourself the grace to forgive and keep moving forward.

Have a fantastic day!!!

Love, Just Rita Real Talk

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What does your path of stones look like?

2/2/2021

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Good morning my friends. February is a month that is all about love. The quote I am sharing with you came up on my Facebook page today; self-love is what we truly need.

This quote is the perfect complement to the blog I wrote yesterday. We were raised to carry the guilt and shame of all our perceived mistakes. We spend more time beating ourselves up and punishing ourselves that we don't realize how much we have learned.

Do you remember when our teachers told us "there were no stupid questions," but when we asked, we were made to feel stupid? We were laughed at or used as an example. From that point forward, we stopped raising our hands, and we were left to ourselves to figure out what we needed. I wonder if that is why most of us don't ask for help. We are afraid of being ridiculed and laughed at.

How do we learn if we don't fall or fail? How do we learn to pick ourselves up if we don't even try? There is no way anything that has been discovered wasn't without failure. The brave are the ones who keep failing and never giving up on themselves. They get up and keep trying because they know they are going to make something work.

Can you imagine, if you looked back at your whole life, and every time you perceived you failed at something, you saw a stone? How many stones do you think you have? How far can those stones reach too? Can you use them as a path, a street, a sidewalk?

Think about who you are today; where did all those stones lead you to? You can't be who you are today without those stones.

Start to love and appreciate all those stones you have laid out for yourself. You owe it to you to honor your journey. It does not matter if the people around you don't understand because it is not their journey to understand. Just like it is not for you to understand another's journey.

Let's set aside all the judgment, genuinely appreciate who we are, and start to receive the love we so desire. Just so you know, that love we so want has to come from us. We have to accept who we are and our journey and start to give ourselves the love we have been longing for.

Have an amazing day, my beautiful friends. May you start appreciating the stones you have laid out for yourself because you are a fantastic human being.

Rita Owen
Just Rita Real Talk

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Be Proud of Who YOU Are and Where YOU Come From...

2/1/2021

1 Comment

Good morning my beautiful friends, Happy February. This month is a time for love and healing. Love is not just for relationships; love is for our souls.

Have you ever stopped and just looked at where you have been, along with how much you have overcome? It's incredible when you start to see all the blessings that have been given to you just because you worked through your pain. Sometimes it feels like this work never ends, but when you look at who you are, you see a beautiful reflection in the mirror.

That reflection is the love that you have for your soul that is shining bright. When you start to see how amazing you are, you begin to love who you are and your soul. You begin to heal deep inside yourself that allows you to become a beacon of light. You begin to stand taller, prouder, happier, and sometimes still sad; you no longer hang your head low.

That soul deep inside deserves your love; after all, she is you, and you are your soul. No matter where you have been and what has occurred in your life, you deserve to love yourself fully. To many times we have been taught shame and guilt, which has never served anyone. We need to learn and grow, and the only way to do that is by going through whatever lessons we need to go through. We as humans make our lives so much more complicated than it truly needs to be. We are taught to hold onto the shame, so we never forget and make a mistake again. We have been taught all wrong.

That's right, I said it...we have been taught all wrong. The lesson should not be holding onto guilt, shame, along with not being worthy. It leaves us with so many problems as we are growing through life. As adults, we find ourselves lost, desperately trying to find ourselves. We spend so much time working on who we are trying to convince ourselves that we are worthy, and we are worth something to this world. Look around you. How many people do you see holding on to their past mistakes as if it were the end of the world? It may feel like that because we have been taught to feel shame and guilt, to the point that we never know when to let go.

Today I am asking you to let go of your stuff, let go of what is not serving you and start to see the blessings in everything you have experienced. See the lesson, be grateful you had an opportunity to learn and grow, and now it's time to let it go and move on. It's time to start loving who you are because you have learned so much. You are so smart, so intuitive, so adventurous; it's time you see that. Start looking at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love you, your soul. You will start to release what no longer serves you and start putting a smile on that beautiful face.

I love you...Have an amazing day!!!

Rita Owen
Just Rita Real Talk

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Don't take it so personal...

1/26/2021

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Good afternoon my beautiful friends...Life has been hitting us in all different directions these days. Sometimes it is so hard not to feel the hit without taking it personally.

As I go through my spiritual journey, I see there is so much for me to learn. When I go through the trenches as everyone else, I'm reminded to look at things from a different perspective. I get to see how wounded my inner child is even after all the work I have done on myself. It blows my mind in frustration as well as in gratitude for another opportunity to grow.

I recently had an experience that brought up rejection and abandonment for me. Now, I have been working on these issues for quite some time; when I feel like I have it mastered, I am shown that there is still work to be done. I had my little temper tantrum because I did not get what I wanted. I kept my cool at the moment, but I was mad and had my little tantrum when I got home. I went to bed sad and woke up sad. I felt teary-eyed and need to clear my head. So I called my coach, my mentor, and talked to her about the situation. Yes, I to have a coach and mentor; I do the work that I teach my clients to do.

My mentor told me I was not honoring this person's journey and taking their journey personally. I had already done some writing and soul searching, but I still felt something I was missing. So, I brought in the big guns, my Angels; I sat down and started my Angel Writing, this is where I got some serious clarification.

Now, my Angels communicate how I communicate, so they were throwing the meat right at me. I have a past of rejection and abandonment that started when I was a baby. I have been working on these issues for a long time. Even when I am standing in my power, BOOM, I get hit with a little more healing and lessons. My, Angels informed me that my rejection and abandonment have nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with the other person's journey. I was a character playing in their movie, and I took on the emotions and responsibility of what happened. As an Empath, this is one of the things we do; we take on other people's energy as if it is our own. My Angels gave it to me; they are tired of me dealing with this, and it is time to realize it is not all about me, it is about their journey, and I can no longer take it personally.

WOW! Yes, they were tough on me; however, that is what I needed to hear. I needed to realize that not everything is about me. That as I coach my clients about being a character in someone's life, that is their journey, my client is part of the lesson for the other person. However, when you are in it, it doesn't always feel that way.

I took a few moments beating myself up; I am on my journey, learning and growing. These are lessons I need to learn so I can finally set myself free. When you are on a Spiritual Growth Journey, it is not for the faint of heart. It is a hardcore, getting deep down and dirty journey filled with so much gratitude when you start seeing yourself grow. I am forever grateful for all the lessons I have encountered my whole life. I have changed my whole self, and yet I still have moments.

My friends, I want you to realize no matter what is happening in your life, look at things from a different perspective. Start to see the lesson, and talk to someone brave enough to tell you to get out of your way. You deserve a wonderful life, and when you start to appreciate and be in gratitude for the lessons, everything seems to fall right into place.

I love you...Take on your journey only, and leave everyone else's journey to them.

Just Rita Real Talk
Rita Owen

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Preparing for 2021...and being complete with 2020...

12/27/2020

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Good morning my beautiful friends; I pray your holidays have been Merry. Now we are preparing for a brand new year, so let's look back and appreciate 2020. We gained more than we may have realized.

Remember when we were at the end of 2019, and we could not wait for 2020 to begin? We thought the world would give us everything we desired and longed for; hell, we deserve it. We knew as a whole that 2020 was going to be our year. Little did we realize that as we started to get into 2020, it would have been one of the most challenging years of our lives.

Who knew we would experience such a nasty virus that took many lives and left people very sick. We never saw coming, another racial outrage and our significant cities burned down to the ground. Who knew that a war was brewing and we would have to do whatever it took to protect ourselves over the Presidential Election. Who knew the darkness was going to be coming over us, and yet the light saved us. We have much that we were not expecting in 2020. Now it is time to pick through it all and leave 2020 in the past. We need to move on with a clean slate for 2021.

2020 started great for me. I was happy, in love, I thought 2020 would be my best year yet. Guess what, it was; here's why. I brought in 2020 with a man who I thought would be my forever person. I could not imagine myself with any other person; however, when Corona broke out, I saw who he was. We were inseparable. I would travel back in forth to where he lived, we lived in different states, but that did not stop us from seeing each other just about every weekend. Like most of you, when Corona broke out, we did not know if we would live or die. So when the world went on lockdown, I packed up my kitties, and we high tailed it to his house. He was not happy. I started to hear and listen to his comments and his encouragement to go back home. When my boss called and said we were essential, I ended up going home. He was never more happy to see me leave as he was that night. His house was cleaned from top to bottom because I was in such gratitude to have been there. As the year went on, he became more distant, did not know what he wanted, and left me on his back burner. Yes, it wasn't easy; I had to come to terms with what was happening and let him go—one of the most devastating things I had to go through. But I am grateful for the experience. I have shown myself I am ready to love someone special.

I had gone through two knee replacements in 2020, not the easiest, but I have shown myself I can go through anything. My second knee replacement coupled with the breakup; talk about a double punch. I was never more grateful to be going through something like this since I was off work for six weeks. I was able to physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually heal. It was not easy; lots of tears fell from my eyes, and many sleepless nights. But I see that I was in a relationship that I kept going until I couldn't. I got to experience the power of bouncing back from my knee replacements stronger than ever, and if I could do that, I could do anything, as well as recover from a breakup.

I also became a Grandmother in 2020. The best thing that has ever happened to me besides bringing my son into this world. I have never been happier and fulfilled as I have been becoming a Grandmother. I have gained such a fantastic family that my son has created. I couldn't be more proud. We did not let the Corona invade the creation of our family, and I have been able to bond with my granddaughter in ways I never thought was possible. To be able to hold that baby and love her. Priceless. When she sees me, she always has a huge smile for her Grammy. We talk and play; I get to feed her and let her fall asleep in my arms. What more could I want?

In 2020, I also had to surrender my two beautiful black kitties. They are two of the most beautiful companions I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. When I would come home, they would meet me at the door. They are not like most kitties; they are so unique, but sometimes things happen, and it is time to say goodbye. Our journeys are mapped out for us, and sometimes, it is part of the Divine Plan. I found a special woman who was looking for exactly what I had, and I was never more grateful to surrender them to her. It still makes me cry to think about it, but they are so happy, and we will always be connected spiritually.

When Corona hit, and the riots started, I saw how strong and healthy I am. I stood tall and strong and started to stand in my power. I refused to believe that I would get sick and that I would live in fear. I chose to continue to live my life no matter what and do it powerfully. I genuinely believe this has gotten me to where I am today. I took the time during the shutdown to continue to work, but most importantly, I chose to do a lot of self-work on myself. I decided to see things from a different perspective. I decided to let go of people who were not serving my highest good and start to live life my way. I can honestly say this year has been a fantastic year for me. Even though it was one of the most challenging years, it has been one of the most rewarding years of my life. I have gotten connected with the most extraordinary people I would not have if I did not do work on myself.

I would not change one thing this year. We have learned so much as a nation and a world. There has been much revealed to us that we have not seen in our lifetimes. The division we are experiencing is Good vs. Evil, and in my opinion, it is the best thing that has ever happened. We need to start looking at 2020 from a different perspective, not a victim mentality perspective. We need to stand tall and become the person we have set out to become. It does not matter how hard it may be; we can do it; dig deep, put our blinders on, and keep moving forward. You owe it to yourself to see how amazing you have become with the year 2020.

Love you all, Just Rita

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Rita OWEN

I have been through a lot in my life just as everyone else; I have found that what I have gone through has always been for my highest good. There is not a thing that I would change in my life; I would keep the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sharing my lessons with you helps me to be the best version of myself. What I have learned, I share so you are the best version of yourself.

When we stand together we are strong and tall making a more confident and loving world. We are forgiving our past and embracing all that is learned. We then are teaching our children to be human and the best version of themselves.

Rita Owen

Rita OWEN

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