Good morning, my friends. It has been too long since I have been blogging and living my own life. I allowed someone to take me away from a life that I worked so hard for, and that fulfilled me.
It was 2 1/2 years ago that I met someone who would be very significant in my life. I thought I would be happy and live the life I had always dreamed of. Finally, I was going to get the one thing I longed for a happy, loving, and exciting relationship. My dreams were finally coming true.
No, that is not what happened. I ended up meeting someone who lied to me from the very beginning. He groomed me almost immediately in the relationship. I became trauma-bonded to him, then addicted to him. I tried getting out of this relationship many times, but I kept falling for his lies and feeling sorry for him.
I never knew how much someone could have a hold over you until I met this person. He is older, I thought wiser, had his troubles, but who didn't? I had so much compassion and empathy for him and what he was going through. As time moved on, he kept dropping these bombs on me of his life. I couldn't understand how one person could go through so much turmoil. Especially when all I saw was this warm, wonderful, hardworking man. He always said to me, most women would have left; you are so amazing. I bought it hook, line, and sinker.
When he felt I was bonded to him, he started showing me his temper. I dismissed it at the beginning because I knew how much he had on his plate. His stress was never-ending. So, I empathized and felt sorry for him. I accepted his apologies and continued supporting him while he went through his troubles. But, as time went on, it got worse and worse. We would have good days, great days, then boom; here came the bad days. Then, it was primarily bad days and not anymore good days. I would always believe what he told me. He always portrayed himself as sincere; he knew exactly how to push my empathetic buttons.
He would share with me how much he loved me and how we would live our lives together. We would be each other's partners for life. He would talk about where we would live, where we would go, and what we would do. I started to fall in love with the idea of spending my life with someone who was as excited about living life as I was. That is how I got completely hooked on him.
I knew I did not like the man who was actually in front of me, but I did love the man at the beginning of my relationship. He would be that guy if only his plate would fall into place. If people left him alone, he would be that guy. If life would just be fair, then he would be that guy. He would always tell me if I did this, and if this happens, I would be secure, and we could be happy. But he did what he needed, and it always got worse. I realized there would not be any happy ending for me, it would always be misery.
I will share my trials and tribulations regarding this relationship with all of you. The relationship had so many red flags, and I looked the other way on all of them. I am just as much to blame as he is, other than I was always good to him, and he was not to me.
Life has been rough, but now I am back in the driver's seat, free from all his abuse. It's hard not to contact him or try to figure out why, but from now on, I will be strong and heal from what I went through so I do not bleed on someone else.
Tune in next time, and we will dive deeper. Have an amazing day!
Love,
Just Rita Real Talk
It was 2 1/2 years ago that I met someone who would be very significant in my life. I thought I would be happy and live the life I had always dreamed of. Finally, I was going to get the one thing I longed for a happy, loving, and exciting relationship. My dreams were finally coming true.
No, that is not what happened. I ended up meeting someone who lied to me from the very beginning. He groomed me almost immediately in the relationship. I became trauma-bonded to him, then addicted to him. I tried getting out of this relationship many times, but I kept falling for his lies and feeling sorry for him.
I never knew how much someone could have a hold over you until I met this person. He is older, I thought wiser, had his troubles, but who didn't? I had so much compassion and empathy for him and what he was going through. As time moved on, he kept dropping these bombs on me of his life. I couldn't understand how one person could go through so much turmoil. Especially when all I saw was this warm, wonderful, hardworking man. He always said to me, most women would have left; you are so amazing. I bought it hook, line, and sinker.
When he felt I was bonded to him, he started showing me his temper. I dismissed it at the beginning because I knew how much he had on his plate. His stress was never-ending. So, I empathized and felt sorry for him. I accepted his apologies and continued supporting him while he went through his troubles. But, as time went on, it got worse and worse. We would have good days, great days, then boom; here came the bad days. Then, it was primarily bad days and not anymore good days. I would always believe what he told me. He always portrayed himself as sincere; he knew exactly how to push my empathetic buttons.
He would share with me how much he loved me and how we would live our lives together. We would be each other's partners for life. He would talk about where we would live, where we would go, and what we would do. I started to fall in love with the idea of spending my life with someone who was as excited about living life as I was. That is how I got completely hooked on him.
I knew I did not like the man who was actually in front of me, but I did love the man at the beginning of my relationship. He would be that guy if only his plate would fall into place. If people left him alone, he would be that guy. If life would just be fair, then he would be that guy. He would always tell me if I did this, and if this happens, I would be secure, and we could be happy. But he did what he needed, and it always got worse. I realized there would not be any happy ending for me, it would always be misery.
I will share my trials and tribulations regarding this relationship with all of you. The relationship had so many red flags, and I looked the other way on all of them. I am just as much to blame as he is, other than I was always good to him, and he was not to me.
Life has been rough, but now I am back in the driver's seat, free from all his abuse. It's hard not to contact him or try to figure out why, but from now on, I will be strong and heal from what I went through so I do not bleed on someone else.
Tune in next time, and we will dive deeper. Have an amazing day!
Love,
Just Rita Real Talk
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