We look at positive inspiration all day, hoping it will help us keep our attitude positive. The reality is, the negative thoughts keep creeping in, and we have to start dealing with our emotions and feelings regardless of keeping our attention somewhere else. We always perceive those emotions or feelings as unfavorable, because it does not leave us feeling happy, it leaves us with a sense of emptiness. We tend to be more quiet or melancholy, or we feel like dropping a few tears or maybe not even getting dressed or getting out of bed at all. Either way, all that we are feeling is the right experience we need to deal with.
I am someone for the most part, which is a positive person; however, I know that all emotions need to be dealt with; not just the good ones. This is the perfect time to reflect and work on yourself. It's the ideal time to look around and see if this is the life I want, the life I have been working so hard for. Or is there something else that I desire for my life. It is also an ideal time to realize that working on some deep-rooted pain and hurts while we are secluded is a hall pass to break down your mental stuff at home.
Typically winter is the time to go within and do a lot of resting and soul searching. Still, it seems that we are being forced to really dive deep into ourselves. This COVID 19 has hijacked our Spring, and it's happening all over the world, we are not alone. Such a big planet, and we are literally going through the exact same thing. We need to really start to take advantage of the time we have to really dig deep into what has been plaguing us.
I have become dependent, independent, too dependent, too independent my whole life. As I divorced for the second time, I spent a good year by myself, really being with myself learning and growing. I then decided it was time to invite a partner in my life and start to have fun sharing my experiences. I have met an extraordinary man who makes me happy, but we are many miles apart. We have learned to use the calendar to make sure we balance out our time together with work. To my surprise, COVID 19 has shown me how dependent I have become with my partner. It has been making me so crazy when I don't get my way. I have found that my attitude literally sucks when I don't get the communication I want. I have reverted to a hurt little child having a temper tantrum demanding attention. As I am writing this, it blows me away how our still wounded selves keep living our lives.
Taking the time for your mental health is so crucial during this time. I work in a lawyer's office...the joke is, in six months there will be a lot of divorces or a lot of pregnancy. The truth is; however you are dealing with the wounded little person inside of you will determine how you spend this time; loving or fighting. I have been trying so hard not to fight, but sometimes it will come out. Just recently, I had to realize that my little wounded self has been coming out to play and to be quite honest, she makes me want to control every situation, so I don't get hurt.
When I try to control every single thing in my life, I become so unhappy. I worry about if I am good enough, what's wrong with me, what more can I do to be accepted. This morning while brushing my teeth, my Angels were telling me I need to stop trying to control everything. I become an over-achiever so that I have value, and I will be kept. Yes, my abandoned self has joined in the party.
These moments creep in so fast, most times we never see it coming. Yes, is it essential to stay positive? Yes. It is also necessary to deal with undesirable emotions, as well. You will learn so much about yourself, precisely what pains you are still holding on to.
Use COVID 19 to make you a better version of your self. Start to take responsibility for your actions and your emotions. We all are going through the same thing, let's do it together.
Have a great day, my friends.