When I was in the shower, I was thinking about today's blog and how we do things to ourselves that tear us down. I asked myself the question why do I eat when I am not hungry, and why am I so controlling....
I found out the reason why I try to control everything is because when I was a child I did not have control. I did not have control when my natural parents left me....I am sure I made an agreement with myself long ago, I will control everything in my life so I would not get hurt. Even though I do have a strong control...I have hurt myself plenty....
Why I eat when I am not hungry....the unknowing is a huge empty void inside of me. I try to fill it with food and wine.....how crazy is that. It is like the crazy wheel....I control....I eat and drink.....I feel empty.....I control.....I eat and drink....I feel empty...... Crazy isn't it?
This is where I change what is happening with me. I have discovered that I eat to gain control of how I feel, and yet I still control everything around me, but I still feel empty. This is all about getting to my true higher self. What happens to us in our past may side track us a bit. But when we figure it out and move forward, things start to really change.
Today I am starting a whole new life. I no longer will allow my past to dictate how my life will go. I will ask myself am I really hungry when I am going for something to eat, or am I trying to fill an emptiness that does not need filling?
I bared some of my extremely personal self. Have an amazing day my friends.