I have been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting these past few weeks. It has mostly been about my health and how much I have abused my own body.
We don't always realize that we are abusing ourselves if we have gone through some serious tragedies in our life. We will over indulge on our comfort food or over indulge with the drink. We always seem to reach for something that will numb us and in turn we are actually killing our own bodies.
While I have been going through my health issues; I have realized how much I have relied on food that has been killing me slowly. Know matter how I felt after; I still reached for the ice cream, the cup cake, the frosting, the sugar, the wine, the mixed drinks...whatever numbed my feeling uncomfortable. No matter how big I got; I complained of the weight gain but I never really realized how much I was eating and drinking all the bad stuff and not any of the good stuff.
My adult life has consisted of putting my past behind me; learning from all the traumas I have experienced throughout my life. I have constantly worked on myself to the point of realizing how much I have been numbing the pain I experienced. It is finally time for me to put all that pain to rest.
When I started to really dive into what is happening with my body, my doctor took me off of dairy, sugar, grains, flour, corn, processed foods and alcohol. At first I truly felt sorry for myself because now I have to really deal with myself, my emotions and my feelings...I have realized I have been numbing my own self. Isn't that something?
As I am going through all of this, I am realizing how much I have kept myself a victim so I would not have to face who I really am. Sometimes when you have a huge dream it scares the daylights out of you. Instead of just moving forward you keep yourself stuck because of the unknown. Growing up, I thought I was a no-body...who was I to think that I could be somebody? I was always put down, so I learned to do what I knew best and that was to be my own worst enemy.
Today I am standing strong...I am 35 days in of eating clean and 51 days in of not drinking any alcohol; this has been a challenge that I am winning. Today, I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I am finally getting control of my food addictions that have been keeping me sick and held back. The world has never really met Rita Domann...so may I introduce to you; Rita Domann.
I am so proud of me thus far and I will continue to share my whole self with you so that you may be introduced to your true self. I love each and every one of you.
Until we meet again...
With all my love...Rita