This past week I shared with all of you about finding my two older brothers. It was amazing to finally get a positive hit after searching for so many years. It almost doesn't seem real. This week has been a roller coaster ride to say the least.
I have always known that I was different. My life could have gone in so many different directions, but I have always had people in my life guiding me and opening me up to different ways of looking and being in life. I am so fortunate for what I have in my life. Today's inspiration is me to a T.
I have always been weird, definitely different from most and I would always laugh it off. I didn't care on the outside but in the inside it was torture. I would always make people laugh and I drew my strength from that. I always tried to be the clown no matter where I was so people would laugh and feel comfortable. But as I was older and found that I had other siblings out in the world, I wondered if they were as weird as me. I wondered if I would ever find where I came from and would finally fit somewhere. Now that I know my biological family and now have this sense of peace and I realize what great opportunities I have had to be extraordinary. I have always had people coming into my life to show me the way and to be the best person I could be. I found that being weird was a great quality to have and I embraced it.
I definitely had and still have a dark side. It is a side of me that has always protected me in situations that could have otherwise torn me down. I have had to tap into my dark side many times to get through the tough times and give my son the life that he so deserves. Looking back there are things I am not proud of, however who I am today and looking at my son, it was all worth it.
Being vulnerable was the hardest part for me to handle. I hated to show that side of me because of all that I had gone through. But when I started to work on myself and learned that being vulnerable was not a weakness but a sense of love and compassion. I have been able to help so many other people in my life become stronger and less angry. I have been able to help the homeless and go on mission trips because I finally get that being vulnerable opens you up to a world of opportunity.
Being creative has always been a strong suit for me. I have always been able to figure out sticky situations or problems by looking at things differently. I have learned that there is more than one way to get things done; I am that girl who will find the way. Sometimes the ways were way more complicated and some were very easy. I am always looking to find different ways to do everything in my life; I always have to find out for myself. I think that is an amazing quality to have.
I finally have realized that there truly is nothing wrong with me. I have just turned 46 and I feel amazing about myself. I know where I come from, where I have been and what I am all about. I know that all I want to do is help people realize no matter what we are all the same amazing people trying to figure it all out. No one person is better than another, we all have the same issues but how we handle them are different. My hope and dream is that each one of us knows that we are amazing and we can do anything we set out minds to. We are all God's Creatures and we have the ability to do anything we say we truly want.
Until we meet again my friends...