You have the power to say, "This is NOT how my story will end." These words are so very powerful and yet these words can be forgotten in an instant. How many times have you found yourself going through a struggle where you have forgotten all that you have become; you have forgotten how smart and how brave you are? I forget it all the time and when I need these words the most they come to me an in instant.
I have been dealing with a few serious health issues...one is my breathing; I can't quite seem to recover from the asthma attack I had in November/December. I have been severely fatigued to the point that it does not matter how many 5 hrs I take or how much coffee I drink I am exhausted; which I find myself not wanting to do anything. I have also noticed that my voice has been hoarse for months, sometimes I even lose it...for me it is just not acceptable. I have gained weight like there is no tomorrow and I feel like my body is dying slowly.
I wasn't going to share this struggle; but for us women to stand in our strength and beauty I have no choice than to share my struggle publicly. I want to gain the support of many so that I do conquer my issues and live a very fruitful life. I have found the more I talk about it the more I feel stronger to push through instead of giving up.
I started to make doctor appointments for myself to get to the bottom of what is happening to my unhealthy body. I first started with an ENT Specialist and he found a plaque like substance on my vocal cords; which was diagnosed as Leukoplakia of the vocal cords. It is a scary thought to have this condition because I don't know what the outcome will be until the end of July. I had to start using my cpap machine no matter what because I was literally killing my brain slowly...which I have some energy but not what I want. My breathing doctor is trying to find a medicine that will allow me to breathe better...what's scary is suffocating to death has been one of my greatest fears...I am not that bad but only breathing at 70% sucks. I am going to a gastroenterologist to figure out if the heartburn I suffer from has caused serious damage to my esophagus.
It's a lot right...one thing that scares me the most is the possibility of cancer. There is not one person in our world who does not know someone who has zero experience with cancer. We all know someone who has had it, survived or died. This possibility is also a fear of mine that I have had for quite some time.
We all have fears that either come true or never in our wildest dreams have happened. However this is what I am dealing with presently. I am playing the waiting game right now and I feel like the waiting is the worst part. If I knew I could start action or not; but at least that curiosity would not be there.
I am going to share my experience with you here on this blog as well as on my Just Rita Show. www.247thestream.com/news I want you to be able to fight your fight with strength and beauty as I will be doing. If you are like me at all that would be a little difficult. It is hard for me to ask for help and support; I hate looking weak, but right now I have no choice. What I am finding is the more I talk about it and share it the more support I have and the less I feel alone with this burden. My hope for you is that you start talking about your struggles and use the support of the people around you. Don't worry about what you think you look like, surrender in the beauty and strength; when you are not capable to hold yourself up allow another too hold you up.
I leave you with these words today "This is NOT how my story will END." Change the ending...if you have to go through it, then fight every step of the way. You will always have loved ones around you holding you up but ONLY if you LET THEM.
Until we meet again my friends...
With all my love...Rita